My Letters to God

If you know me, you know that I like to write. It's how I sort everything. I write lists on my sticky notes, letters to my friends and of course, in my journal. Several years ago, I started journaling. My journals are like a collection of letters to God with my thoughts, prayers and praises. And right before I started college, I threw my first journal away. I didn't like looking back, so I decided to pretend like it never happened by tossing it. But now, I wish that I could look back at it... to see how much I have changed since then.

And only a few days ago, I wrote in the last page of the journal I started at the beginning of my first year at Fox. And as I "signed" that last letter to God, I couldn't help but smile because I'm never going to throw this one away. I like flipping through the pages now. Even looking back to exactly one year ago, I am simply amazed at how much God has blessed and taught me. Sometimes when I look at it now, I have no idea what I was thinking. It kinda makes me laugh. But still, that's what it took to get me here. On the way to getting here, a few friends came and left, I received my first B, I got minor surgery and I was more confused about what God was trying to do in my life than ever. But more importantly, I was reminded how blessed I am now. God has given me a family who loves me and who has stayed together and He's blessed me with some friendships that I never expected to have. And now, I have a somewhat clearer picture about what He wants me to do. Well, just a little clearer. But, I have grown so much and this journal right here is a testament to that. Just as I closed this book, I have closed yet another chapter.

All things really do work together for my good :)

So now, I'm starting a new journal and entering a better part of my life. I am excited to see what He has for me. I know there will be struggles, as always, but it's those hard times that help me grow. Everything does happen for a reason. Looking back and as cliché as it sounds, I can finally see how some things were supposed to fall apart so that they could fall into a better place... which is right now! 

The Vine and the Branches

This week, I've been reading and focusing on John 15. One of the verses that stuck out to me most was verse 7.

"If you abide in Me, and My words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you." 

As followers of Christ, we ought to live everyday for Him through our words and actions. It is critical to live in accordance to His will. And when we do, our prayers become more in line with desires of His heart. Then we can continue living the life that we're meant to live.

We are the vines. He is the gardener and if we allow Him, He'll cut off the branches that bear no good fruit. And in return, we can become more fruitful and can show the world His love.

Actions > Words

This weekend my cousin said, "if someone has to say 'I'm a nice guy,' then that means they're not." It got me thinking. He was right. I had a friend from my school who always said, "I'm just a nice guy." I thought nothing of it until now. And over time, I got to know him better and saw how he treated others and to be honest, he wasn't that nice of a guy. The way he treated myself and others made me really disappointed in him. What he always said never matched the way he acted. He wanted to impress me with his words. And well, I was fooled for a little while. His actions proved to me who he really is. And it finally makes sense now. Some people try paint pictures of what they want others to believe about themselves to feel better about what they're doing. 

Words aren't always enough. To see a change, something needs to be done. The way I see people is through the way they act, not by what they say. So, I don't want to just say the right things. Instead, I want to strive to be a person who will live in a way that's pleasing to the Lord.

What you do is more significant than what you say. More than words, actions reveal who a person truly is.

Above all else

"Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life." ~ Proverbs 4:23

My promise ring. And one of my favorite verses :)

One of the most important things I've learned that any person should do is to protect their heart because it is the center of their life. It's where we make our decisions and hide our desires. So, we must be careful and allow only things that are pleasing to God into it, so it can also flow out.  

The Definition of Me

“I think it’s very healthy to spend time alone. You need to know how to be alone and not be defined by another person.”

I agree with this completely! I have had so many friends that define their worth on what other people think about them... and that makes me sad for them. They think spending time alone is like a bad thing, but I think it's absolutely great! Solitude is a good thing because it gives me a chance to take time to relax and spend time with my Savior. And worth shouldn't be be based on worldly idols, friends, jobs or anything else, except for Him. Christ defines me :)  

I think it all started about a year or so ago. That's when God started letting things happen to show me who I was supposed to keep in my life. Off the top of my head, I can think of several things that happened. But, of course, I didn't realize it until now what He was trying to show me. Every little thing pointed in one direction. And it's finally clear. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the people in my life. But, sometimes you have to let go of the ones who have hurt you most, even if they mean the world to you. I tried fighting that by allowing myself to be complacent. But, I've realized that everyday, including today, something was proving me wrong.

Everyone knows that phrase, "forgive and forget." Last summer, I learned what it meant to really forgive others. I was hurt in ways that I didn't think I'd ever be hurt. But, I didn't really know how to forget. So, this summer, that's what I'm doing. I'm forgetting and I'm starting anew. And yes, memories will always be there, but it's those memories that keep me smiling and trusting Him.