An Eternal Plan

It's only the first week and I've already planned out about a million things for my life. It's gonna be busy. But in reality, none of my plans work out. This planner is nothing compared to the eternal things God has for me.

On my planner for this week, I wrote Proverbs 27:12. It says, "the prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and suffer for it." That was something I didn't really implement in my life very well last year. I ignored obvious signs and in return, I suffered the consequences of getting hurt.

And I remember a message that I heard two summers ago in relation to this verse. The pastor said, "Intentions don't determine destination. Direction determines destination." It's about keeping our eyes on what's important, but more importantly, acting on it. This year will be very hard and I am nervous, but I'm excited to see what's He's got planned for me because He actually knows what He's doing. And my destination will be a wonderful place :)

More than a Lecture

It's only been four days and I've already learned so much. My profs have given me a lot to think about. It's funny because most people wouldn't think that accounting has anything to do with faith but it does in some ways.

As human beings, we have certain outlooks on others. Sometimes good and sometimes bad. We can't deny that. My professor today compared two things... In accounting, there are two types of standards: rules-based and concepts-based. He compared the rules to the thought that "man is born sinful and man in unable to make uninformed decisions." Likewise, he compared concepts to the thought that "man has a spark of goodness - not everything is bad." One is objective. And the other is subjective and takes more expertise and thinking. Now, normally I would lean more towards to the rules-based because I like having things set in stone and perfect. But, after hearing this, I thought to myself, maybe judgment is good. And that doesn't necessarily mean judging others, but rather having a good judge of character and looking for the good in others. This basis has to do with morals. I don't know, I may be rambling, but this just got me thinking.

I want to accept people no matter who they are. I want to see the best in them and forgive the hurt they may have caused. I want to see the "spark of goodness" that God sees in them. I guess as I'm moving into this year, I'm learning how to love others the way He does. I want to look past all the rules for trying to make everything perfect for myself and instead see the good Christ intended for us.

And on top of that, another prof said "if you're a Christian and you're not valuing people, then something is wrong." If we're going to live a life that's pleasing to God, we've got to show that to others, even when it's difficult to do so. Christianity is about love. God is love. Relationships are important in growing. And my goal for this year is to love and be a better friend to the amazing people who are around me.

God's Timing

Since the beginning of Freshman year, I started doubting God's timing about certain things. And more than two years later, I see why His timing was better than my own. Now, things have changed more and prayers have been answered. But, I'm still praying for the same thing I was praying for from back then. It's a process. Right now, I hear God telling me "no" and honestly, I'm okay with that especially in this season of my life. But, I'm still learning how to hear His voice more clearly and I know that He'll give me the desires of my heart, as it says in Psalm 37. So, I'm praying for a "not yet." And if not, I know He'll give me something better... in His time. I guess for me, it's always been about having patience. So many times, I try to do things on my own so quickly and then things just get messed up. But, this year, I'm going to take things slow and trust that He'll give me what I desire, and more importantly, what I need. This has been a constant reminder in my life... that all things will be beautiful in His time because He's the God of the impossible.

RandoMESS for Day 2

These past two days have been more busy than I thought it would be. Meetings, classes, tons of homework and everything else. It seriously feels like more than I can handle, but I'm literally going to take it one day at a time and not worry!

I am tired, especially mentally. But, I'm trusting Him that He'll give me rest. In the midst of my own craziness today, I decided to take a short walk around campus and it brought back a lot of memories. I walked by where I lived last year and I couldn't help but be sad and happy at the same exact time. It was a year I never thought I'd have. But, it's what brought me to this point in life. If I could, I would change some things, but I guess that's why God allows grace into our lives. I'm sorry to the people I've hurt. And more than anything, I want those who've wronged me to know that I have forgiven them. No matter what, those people will always be dear to my hurt. I know I've said both those things countless times, but I don't think I can say it enough. I truly mean that. Someday I'd love to have some of those people back in my life. But, only in His time. Because I have learned that God sometimes gives us to people to share life with only for certain chapters of our lives. And if it was only for a short while, I am thankful.

Whether I'm ready or not, I know this year will be great!

My Little Izzy

As I was going through my things, I came across a picture of my little camper from two summers ago and myself. I miss her. She has the most contagious smile. Izzy is such a beautiful girl. In fact, she reminds me of myself in some ways... She's indecisive and laughs a lot. One thing I loved about her was her willingness to help people and her lovingkindness towards others.  I was blessed with the opportunity to spend one week with just her, even during one of the hardest summers of my life. The best thing about it though is that I can always look at that picture of us sitting on my desk and remember the amazing impact she had on my own life.

My Prayer

"Always pray to see the best in people, for a heart that forgives the worst, a mind that forgets the bad and a soul that never loses faith in God."

Yes, please :)

Deep Breath

I've always said that summer changes everything. And to be honest, it has been true at least for the past three summers of my life. But, now I'm starting to believe that even going back to even school changes things too. That has also been true in my own life, even in some drastic ways. And God gives us these stressful changes to remind us that we can rely on Him when we don't know what to do.

But, it's becoming real again. I've been officially moved in to my new house on campus for three days. And I'm going to miss being home like crazy. A year ago, if you asked me "are you excited for school?" I'd say something like "Without a doubt, I'm ready to see my friends again!" I could not wait to get back and I wanted to skip summer altogether. But, I think that's where my problem was... I wasn't in it for the school part. I wasn't going back for the right reasons. I mean don't get me wrong, it was the great community that brought and kept me at my school. I love Fox. And I truly love all the people I've met there too. Though they can get on my nerves, as I probably do too, I'm thankful for each and every one of them. But this year, I'm going in with a different mindset. One that's the reason I'm here. To learn and grow, build a career and use that for His glory. It's not about what others want from me. It's about what God's given me and how I'm going to use it.

After this summer, I've learned SO much. It was hard at times, but it was in those moments that God was constantly refining me and reminding me that He's got it in control. It was in those moments that my loving parents and sisters were there for me. I know I say this a lot, but I am seriously blessed. This summer, I was surrounded by people who are some of the greatest and most real people I've ever met. And let me tell you, some of the dinners with them were my absolute favorite memories of the summer! Those friends are like family to me.

So, in this next school year, everything will change yet again. As with every new season, I will experience new and very hard things! But, if you ask me that same question, this would be my answer... "Yeah, I'm actually ready for the school part, learning and of course, seeing some of those amazing people that God put in my life. And although it's going to probably be the absolute hardest year of my life, I am ready." I'm just getting even more prepared for what is to come. Even in this very moment, I am more nervous that ever that I won't be able to do everything - all my classes, senior capstone, serving as a leader for two clubs, fall recruiting, and more - but I know God will see me through it all. It will be busy. But, He's ready for me to start again. So, I'll take a deep breath and He'll take care of the rest. I don't know how He's going to get me through it, but He always does. And that's all that really matters.

I must say that I appreciate my family and being home a lot more now that I have to go back to school again.

My words exactly for that one person...

:)

His Plan

It's hard to believe that the summer is almost over. I'm sad to see it go so soon, but I'm ready for another change. Throughout this summer, I've been preparing myself for this next year almost every single day. And as you can tell in this picture, I'm constantly writing lists and try to be super prepared for the next day... or even month. And that isn't even half of it, I've got sticky notes all over my desk! But, I think that's where my problem is. I plan a little too much, which causes me to worry more because some things just don't go the way I plan.

Now, this coming year will most definitely be the busiest year by far. I've got a lot on my plate, especially this Fall. Sometimes I ask myself, "what am I getting myself into?!" But then, I remember that it's God who brought me to this point and gave me these things. I want to use what I have. I know there will be times where I don't think I'll be able to do it, but I know that with perseverance, I will! 

So, here's to a new year... one that will be filled with amazing things. This year, I'm more ready mentally for school than I was last year. I'm focused. And although other people think it's probably boring, I'm excited to take the rest of my accounting classes next year. I'm ready to get closer to reaching my goal and seeing what else He has planned for me. I give all my sticky notes, lists and this next school year up to Him! 

"Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." ~ Psalm 37:4

Association

I'm thankful for the people God's put in my life right now. Association is always key in determining how our lives turn out. Sometimes it's an indirect kind of thing and it affects us without us even knowing it. The people we spend time with sometimes influence us in ways we never intended. We should be surrounded by those who encourage and don't hold us back... That's what I needed for the longest time. And I've walked towards something better and I finally got that :)

"Walk with the wise and become wise; associate with fools and get in trouble." ~ Proverbs 13:20