All things beautiful.

After being at Fox another year, I learned so many more lessons about life through people and experience than just being in class. For so long, I truly thought that God's timing of certain things was just a little off. But, I was so wrong. He just had a different plan than I did for my life. Every tear, smile and laugh was worth it.

I think the most important thing that I learned during this past year while being in school was that all things will be beautiful in His time. While most things don't ever make sense, I've gotta keep remembering that He has a wonderful plan for my life. This is has been quite a year. I was betrayed a few times. And it sure was difficult. At times, I felt like things were falling apart, but through it all I was growing and becoming better :) And in time, it'll all make sense and be worth it... Overall, this year was fun with some great memories that I'll never forget!

My sister made this clock for me and on it says "All things beautiful in His time."
Such a great reminder!

Prayer ruined my life.

For the past year and a half, I'd been praying for certain things to happen. I'd been praying for God to show me the right thing to do. And over the last several months, I have been on a long road where I was hurt and lied to. I prayed every single day of my life for one thing. And my life has finally been ruined because of it. Now, I don't mean that in a bad way. It's a good thing. As I was sitting at dinner with my friends today, I thought "prayer ruins everything." Everything was falling apart... and now my life is ruined. And well, it's turned out in a way that I never expected it to be. Two years ago, I would've never thought I'd be here. I used to have my life all planned out when I was younger. So, I didn't know what I was getting myself into as I was praying. Prayer is an act of entrusting everything to God. I lost control. By asking God to do His will, every plan that I ever had for my life was being erased and He was creating something better, and He still is... :) So, I was faced with dealing with the consequences of praying to a gracious God who knows exactly what He's doing. And tonight I thought, "how did this all even happen?!" But, looking at the bigger picture of it all... it was exactly what I was praying for and wanting all along. It's what I needed.

His "Garden"

Looking back at this past year, I've realized what all God has done for me in even in the craziness. There have been many friends who have betrayed my trust. And it was hard to let them go at first. Now, this is kinda silly. But, I realized that my group of friends is like a garden. The bad friends who were not good for me are like weeds. God was ridding me of them. They only hurt me. But, on the other hand, God has blessed me abundantly with friends who truly care about me. They are there for me. And they stood up for me when I was too weak to do so. They love me. And I love them. They are like beautiful flowers. We're all growing together. Yes, we've all made mistakes. But, we're all learning. It's like God is the water raining down on us. Without Him, we wouldn't exist.

I'm not a people pleaser.

As this year is coming to an end, I have found that many people try to impress others. They act one way with one person, and then in a completely different way with someone else. Being fake is the same as lying. Changing who you are isn't giving respect to God because He made each and every one of us unique, so we shouldn't try to be someone we're not.

This year, I've learned a lot about myself. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love people. I love getting to know them.  I used to care a lot more about what others thought about me, I still do. But, I'm not a people pleaser. And that's because I stand up for myself, for people I care about and for what I believe is right! Sometimes it's really hard to do, but I know it's the right thing to do. Today, I learned that. 

I wish I heard this song about a year and a half ago... I love it. It's just perfect :)

Surrender and See

Christ has shown me how to trust Him this past week. I thought I had most of my life figured out, but I have been so wrong. And now, I'm amazed at how He is speaking to me. His Word is absolutely wonderful. And the way He works is even more amazing.

Sometimes you have to fully surrender to let God do something in your life and He will show you what to do and how to live. Only after fully giving up can you see the amazing things that He has already given you. I thought I knew what was best for me, but that was only blinding me from what God truly wanted for me. And now I can see a little bit clearer :) Only faith can do that.

Sometimes I just don't understand what God is doing in my life. Right when I try something, the opposite starts to happen. When I try to get rid of something, it's sitting there right in front of me the next day. Well, I will be strong and trust Him. I'm going to sit and pray hard that He shows me what to do!

Blessed beyond words.

It's actually kinda funny how God works. For almost two years, I had been holding onto something that was holding me back from being the absolute best I could be. It was a hindrance to me. But, this February, I realized how much it has negatively affected my life. I wasn't the person that I was before. So, this month, I let it go. It's not completely out of my life quite yet, but I'm getting there... and already I can see what things God has been blessing me with! Once I rid myseld of that one thing, I've been abundantly blessed. In the past week, I've accepted a summer internship and got an AWESOME scholarship! It just makes me smile now :)) It's simply amazing.

Better things.

God has the most perfect plan for my life. I'm starting to see that again now. This past week during Spring Break, I really learned that. I had a break from my crazy life. It was honestly one of the greatest breaks ever. Last summer was a hard time in my life, and it was followed by an even more difficult school year. During the last year or so, I have learned so much about life. In fact, even when I didn't realize it, God was teaching me the same exact thing over and over because I just didn't get it the first time. He surely caught my attention. I learned what is truly important.

He showed me how blessed I am. I have family who loves me so much. I don't know what I'd do without them. He's given me friends who I can count on. And I am getting a great education. I know I'll get far in life with His help and guidance at this school. He's writing a perfect story for me, an imperfect person. And lastly, one of the most important things I have learned is that I cannot settle for less than I deserve. Ever. 

There is beauty in suffering. Through pain and heartache, I learned what it means to follow God's will. Although I don't understand any of it, He knows what He's doing. I remember the day that I thought my world was falling apart like it was yesterday. I didn't think I'd be able to get through it. But, I was SO wrong. I have come so far and I am a different person :) I think about how I planned my life back then. A year ago, I had different things in mind and looking to the future, I can see that would have been a complete mess. So now, I know exactly what I deserve. I know His plans are greater than mine. What happened was insignificant compared to the amazing things God has in store for me!